Hotchpotch

"Comfortably, the state of least disturbance and use of least energy is sought. A second ley of thermodynamics is observed in the human organization, the individual life. However, the first law is broken because the energy is not preserved. Same the life. For this reason, the comfort in the civilization,  this status quo created in forgotten times (which may be recent), is not sustainable, and it will simply always lead to a break, to chaos, the hotchpotch. The problem for humans as a society and for the individual, in the end, is to what extent is it intended to maintain the unsustainable? It had been over twenty years since he noticed the aquariums in the sky. Today, from the city, it brought him a particular joy because it was rare to observe them. The beginning of the hotchpotch, knowing all the variables and their relations and how the others and how the privileged and their servants forced the system, caused him a confident laugh, not fear. However, perhaps he would have liked to be in this chaos younger; it would be more helpful with another profession when everything falls apart, but what he would like most is to be able to see that human sunset hugging her, naked, before and after making love. It could be tomorrow or happening, and he was neither the protagonist (which he would have preferred to be) nor directly affected. Alone, he would observe without being able to take sides and tell the story. Lonely.

But, the human civilized system is protected, and adjustments are made to maintain it: privileges cannot be lost, and the hope of obtaining less, even if it is just that: a wish. However, universal history shows that nature guarantees survival rather than transformation by adaptation. Or actually by integration and knowledge. Knowledge is observation, experience, learning, teaching, and reconnaissance. Despite selfish interests (and temporary), species and life situations prevail. And it is a simple truth, even if the doctrines and laws are imposed to favor that status quo. And writing or saying that it exists a position going against that state is already a danger. But that's not what it's about. It concerns the sustainable dynamics of life. I just hope you fall in love with life again. - she said, holding back her tears. And she was right. Not a fuck'n day went by without something taking him away from his purposes and happiness. And for a while, he understood that in that decadence, he had to have a life again, to fall in love not with the life (which he loved a lot) but with a possible life. And yes, it was unfair to her. That's why the best thing was simply to accept that he had to leave her, and he couldn't unfairly drag her into a memory and a longing. One more time, another Ulysses history... no, no more.

The hotchpotch is naturally inevitable for the reason that the system is unsustainable. A simple sentence that can generate all fears, many aversions, and the worst of the wars. Maybe this should give some hope in that change, but sustaining the fear is easier than building something with an optimist that recognizes fatal errors and assumes responsibilities. However, the danger of insisting on maintaining an unsustainable system is that fatality increases and finally collapses. Destroying everything and that destruction accelerates after each desperate attempt to maintain it. And everything seems to indicate that the collapse is more probable, face to the weakness of those who can guarantee a change. 2:37 am and woke up again. It wasn't the world's inequality. No more his failures through his personal anger at the lost time and his mental block. That wasn't supposed to happen now. It was not a consequence of the pandemic, nor his three years without art (yes, that anniversary of a text message was fulfilled to say goodbye to all that feeling and more anger). And? 4:15 am, and fortunately, there is a lot to read so as not to fall into memories and longings. There yes, to think about this continent of pirates and all the inequality between robbery, despair, and looting. You don't have to justify hunger with the desire to eat.

To all these, will the human species prevail? Will their intellectuality allow them that change or their egoism that violent collapse? A hotchpotch can arrive, not a terrible chaos in which life is lost. Can bravery and intelligence prevail more than rage, superstition, and hate? Despite the fateful variables and events, knowledge, and (human) consciousness give hope towards life. And it is not little. It is much more that allows sustainability than privileges that guarantee inequality and destruction. What generates collaboration is more tangible than competition. It was an anniversary to remember how everything had ended with a text message. Practically any day could be an anniversary. The aquariums night with Igonogushi, that extraordinary night with Caroline, the  I love yous from the nameless. But it bothered him to even think of her, and it was unfair. He learned from all that, even to bear knowing that Kat was making love with another man at that time, but it was for the best. It is the price of freedom."