It seems that...

"It seems that for human beings, the problem of power is its absence. In that understanding of it, on a small or large scale, the important thing is to exert that force that does not generate any influence or transcendence but simply the immediate impact, the oppression itself on the other, instantaneous. It is difficult to understand this need and the possibility of avoiding responsibilities and simply dominating, even if this domination does not allow anything in the long term. For many, it would be interesting if there were transcendence and influence over time, but in the system of immediate pleasure and survival, power is simple for the majority: oppression. The question, or rather the questions, is not about certainties but what it seems to be. And interpretation becomes more important than verification itself. It was a little cold despite the sun. He hadn't had enough time to make a complete stroke on that canvas and preferred to sleep. He hated being awake and tired. He hated that his decisions weren't his own and that even his art ended up being saleable and loved when he wanted to burn it all. It seemed that bad taste dominated what remained of an interesting society for others - he repeated to himself whenever he could in solitude because if he told others, his clients, he would not have enough to pay for his drinks and his women. Night after night.

It seemed that neither the future nor the present mattered since the past was not understood but instead interpreted. Human readings accumulate, and few manage to steal those minutes from time to read, to look at the horizon after a few lines and construct a thought that, in the same way, stealing more minutes from civilization would end up in a construction, in a new writing that someday someone will read without a doubt. Now, it is uncertain. It seems that for women, the possibilities of love are, in reality, a question of support of desires. He thought it out loud with the calmness of someone who, being a misogynist, would not be penalized for his power and money in a context of frustrated needs and ambitions. It is not only the advantage of having but where to be with that having and knowing it. The advantage of the country is that it is poor in spirit and economic resources. The advantage of post-wars and selfishness. They looked at him with admiration, which was the worst because they were expecting either his crumbs or his transfer (which could be important). Some knew they should sleep with him (and they did so gladly, even though he was not a great lover), but that was this country. And that was him. And that was them. 

But it seems that this is a simple perception, and it could contribute to deception and to filling the world with opinions rather than with arguments and certainties. That is why humans have also become experts in keeping quiet and ignoring and in not trying to understand or establish new ideas. They are only accepting and self-denying. They meet quotas and hope that the decisions of others do not interrupt their comfort and that income at the end of the month. Humans then yearn for that power but hope it does not reach them from the scale closest to the grandiose power of tyrants.  It wasn't so much that he missed her - he told himself - although he desired her immensely (but he also remembered that in the end before she left he didn't), but rather he wondered why he hadn't been powerful enough towards her. That's why she compared herself to what she did and did for others. For others, and she hated being aware of that. And that generated all that negative feeling that she told herself every morning that she would leave for four years and one month. 

Certainties are of a specific time and context and can be easily destroyed (or destroyed) by changing a variable. That is why profiles are preferred and even more so if they are convenient for that power. In the dystopia of human times, confidence in living humanity despite the pessimistic context makes it possible for power to be deceived or rather to be thwarted so that life and reason steal minutes from the clock of a civilization where power is the accumulation. Certainties appear with visible evidence, allowing for a different reality. He needed to understand the flow of his decisions and how they had led him to the uncertainty and laziness of now. He wanted, He loved, He desired, and He loved her. But K was never there. K was. Ka was, and now K is free and fantastic. And he, while he lazily waited for the moment to leave, knew that the best thing could be the desire for what never was and was once felt: like a sigh or a sip of coffee. Then, as usually happens, years of memories and "what ifs" will pass while she lives happily, and he is grateful for her experiences and sadly sighs and drinks a coffee alone, waiting for the moment to leave again. "