Sustainable

"It is humanitarian the necessity to think how to change the system when the sustainability is compromised and the life itself.  The main question about it is shared, initially between people who shared that need (and language), but today, with contrary persons, often rivals, but who share that fear and oppression. Despite the obvious need for this change, it is impressive how the temporarily privileged want to extend that system; however, it is not sustainable for them either, and that word, sustainable is very popular nowadays. She loved me, didn't she love me? So many years and months and nights later, I'm not sure if the answer matters. Especially because there were (and are not) tears despite the sadness.  I try to remember and decipher her gaze but also her silence. I can know more than she told me, Jescha. However, another woman told me and told others that she felt the greatest love for me that could be imagined. And not three weeks passed, and the exclusivity had already been lost. With Jescha, without telling me anything, he got lost in one after a text message. No more words. Although I never had it.

That word: sustainability. And why not to use vitality? It may be because vitality implies movement, and the movement in individuals or groups (social movements) generates fear. Isn't the revolution a movement? And, it is not a secret that the problems with the movements are the how and the after. So, the word sustainable is preferable due to its stillness, calmness (abnegation), and the expected how and after, which does not compromise wished productivity and privilege. I liked the sunset and seeing towards the east as well. That red and orange in the mountains: the sun of deer. Nowadays, I only see buildings and a gray that reminds me that the city won, and citizens forgot to see the landscape, and others never knew it. It no longer exists.  How to write even a phrase of love at six in the afternoon? The citizens run to where they can escape and sleep without observing anything around them.

Some dare to think and write answers to the questions about the quietude and necessity of the movements without going into the after but giving clues as to how. Without a doubt, that minimum necessary (to live) is more than necessary and cannot remain at the minimum to survive. And ambitions about being must supersede those about having. That personal achievement of finding what guarantees your recognition and happiness, not your wealth and popularity. This personal development does not redefine happiness but unframes and shares it. That's why it's annoying in the commodity of the actual system. I wonder if she knew my admiration for her beyond desire? The answer is simple: yes. But admiration goes to a much lower level for a woman who is used to feeling this disproportionate desire from men. It's September, and it's worth writing about her and what I feel and feel. It's September, and remembering that black curtain and the red pillow is worth remembering. Her lips on me, my lips on her. The absence of words of love but the many moans and silences. It could have been sustainable. It was not.

More than sustainable, civilization must be vital, although the word " civilization " doesn't like it.  It seems contrary. Humans transcend into different civilizations. In addition to the above, it is related to sharing the common vision of transcendence and relevance that emancipates life and the acts to expand and preserve it. But those words sound like incomprehensible and repetitive rhetoric; the simple thing about the answer is that vitality consists of valuing and rewarding the achievement of being and not of having, of hoarding. It may not be sustainable currently, but it guarantees expansion and relevance. She was smiling, and she missed smiling like that. In her pride, she should never find out, nor about her tears for him, which ultimately were for herself. Some nights, she masturbated remembering him. A lot. Others sighed. Especially when in her loneliness, after having been with someone else, she missed how he clung to her. How he held her hand and walked along the beach or through the city, holding her hand so tightly that he wanted to feel her. She wanted to look for him. But was it too late? No, but her arrogance was stronger. It's not even pride."