Anguish

"True learning of history allows without a doubt to advance, to overcome it. Not a version or the convenient interpretation of it. Just the facts. The explanations, those interpretations, and reflections about it can be part of a debate. Even an intimate discussion. Only that real encounter with the past, actors, and decisions can guarantee understanding the consequences and what humans call wisdom and future. Simply, you're not here anymore. Although I think of you, not with the anguish of other lives.  It's not sad or happy, and that is the strange thing. I follow your words, stories and I remember more than our sex, the conversations. How it is possible? You would not understand. He writes these phrases before going to the street in a letter that he would never send but that would know that she would never read. While walking, the news of another war (really, the same) reached their ears. They could die tomorrow - he told himself aloud, and one of the beggars lying in the street who heard him said: it's doesn't matter, they won't answer anything either. 

So, it's scary how the tragedies are repeated in increasingly shorter and more dangerous cycles. It is not humanity that must end, but yes this civilisation. The anguish is a constant in an equation with survival and greed, where the system hastens death to have an immediate benefit and the destruction of any possible legacy. Including the life of the Earth without humans. Perhaps the greatness of the oldest nations, which in legends go beyond destruction, wealth, and death is necessary to sustain life. The rhythm of this music made him anxious. Everything was fine between the high of their lives, the liquor, and the sex for the others. It wasn't really a bad environment, It was a place more clear than the one where everyone pretends and plays with the lives of others. Why? it is simple to be richer. More and more and try that the other never is, or is more than him. Or get poor. A night more, playing music for the people trying to escape - he told himself seeing how the most beautiful girl for him, she vomited while two men fucked her in the bathroom behind the platform. She smiled when she saw that the DJ was watching her.

However, a large number of humans and their fears, the impotence face to the power of some is frustrating. The elements of the civilisation system allow easy oppression, manipulation, and contradictions, more with fear and ignorance of course, but it still promotes frivolity and stupidity. There is no common sense, there is massive violence against the individual will and collective consciousness that would allow decisions to be made after real reasoning on behalf of life and human development. Nevertheless, that would mean knowledge and freedom and for the actual human structure of a privileged few, due to the precariousness of many, that is dangerous. Sunday night, after a beer, in his mind, he imagined those key conversations to influence the world. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed in her loneliness. A woman in a world dominated by men willing to kill anyone who tells him that he doesn't have it bigger. However, some women were just as badasses. She smiled again after finishing the last drink and began to think how he would get to his unemployment Monday. She really had no necessity. She was rich. She was more concerned about how to lose weight and the beer didn't help her at all.

Human will and conscience. Principles to build responsibility and to promote curiosity and collaboration face competitiveness.  They are not something extraordinary, but getting to understand it, will undoubtedly lead to building another humanity. One of the values and not of prices, and sure, other words should be invented and some should recover their original meaning to teach, learn, share and argue. Discussion before fight and more, understand to love. He had slept all afternoon and was already sleepy. Sleep for many of that city had become an escape. For him, it really wasn't, although it was unbearable many things that had surrounded him during these years. He just felt tired and these two years of confinement had allowed him to understand that fatigue. Therefore, he enjoyed the silence at night. Lonely, 

Humans are crying seeing how a stock indicator is more important than peace and the selfishness that leads to extending existence but never to preserving life. Being born and dying are extraordinary acts, but only if after death there is a legacy, for life itself. Not power or pride or pleasure. Happiness should be mankind's possibility, not a privilege. He held her tightly while they slept and she missed that feeling, his warmth, his breath next to her. Sunday night, soon she would stop thinking about him, she had been telling herself for two years, and she had the satisfaction of having left him, even though she was disloyal to him. Once, she had cried for him but more than for him, it was for what she had done. But it wasn't enough, her beauty and her subsequent lovers had provided her with the distractions to not do it anymore. Despite having sex for hours with them and sleeping after one side one, they turned their backs on her. Simply, they owned her. But they were not with her."