The Dream Life of Others

"When I say good bye, I remember every time that I want to go, far. Thinking in the old dreams and in the other places where I thought that the happiness is there. Places and moments. Life ways followed by other people, but not for us. Not for me. 

At moment of the good bye, when the people let me, I think in my decisions and how I don't go because my decisions leave me frozen in the same place. Which fears I never overcome, what time I left that be eternal, a continuous return to the same second, the same place. And worst, I feel jealousy of the live of the others, the life that I did not live. 

It's bizarre. Sometimes, I feel, I think that I can break in freedom the script of the life that I follow. However, the instant is just a second, a moment of clarity that after is only a moment in my memory. Bizarre how the light becomes fog.  And how the words the describe the decisions to follow, they disappear in confusion.

Often, is more easy to think in the dream life of the others to explain frustrations. Imagine that our life is unjust and that the life of the other is our life. However, the true is that our life more than a destiny is the strange fruit between decisions and situations out of our control. Some people call it luck. I call it possibility and capacity to exploit the possibility.

When I think in my decisions, especially in those that make me unhappy, I came to the conclusion that they are in my life the result of the a slight belief in the destiny. In the other words, the result of the fear coupled with laziness. Fear to cross to live true dreams. And laziness to fight them. A simple reduction of the possibilities because it exist a great incapacity. In the mind.

Actually, people prefer not to think about their failures, their daemons. And is more easy to say that is the destiny. Or its luck. A lucky man or woman is who make real their dreams. Or more easy, a lucky man or woman is who does not think in their loss and in their unfulfilled dreams.  I'm not happy, however I have my happy moments. And in rainy nights like this, I identify my skills to profit the moment when I can use the possibility. and make my life, a dream life for other will dream it."