Futility

"It's incredible how strongly reprimanded, when based on reflection and reason, is viewed negatively, both for ignorance and the offense itself. For them, what's bad isn't the correction or the forceful response, but rather who delivers it, and even more, whether it's reasoned. Civilization demands silence and supposed understanding, which in reality often disguises self-denial and submission when silence is not possible. Those who restrict and call for silence are those who violently muzzle their opponents and shout senselessly, drowning out any coherent conversation with that noise. They feel threatened and violated when it's no longer possible to let them go and wait for them to drown in their stupidity. Because they negatively affect everyone. You should accompany me, teach me—she said it with that rage that had been in her heart for some time. But he had learned over all these years that it's no longer about accompanying and teaching, as she put it, but rather about learning. The same kind of learning that comes when you want it (even if you can't or shouldn't), and she simply desires and feeds her hatred and fears. In his selfishness, not in his arrogance, he had no business teaching a woman over forty anything.

Articulating it in this manner may imply a sense of arrogance. However, how can we refrain from employing their identical methods and terminology while expecting comprehension from them? Therefore, they advocate for accompaniment and understanding; yet, this is unfeasible as they do not genuinely seek accompaniment, but rather support under the weight of unkindness. In truth, as is widely acknowledged, what they refer to as understanding is, in fact, complete submission. She understood that the love he had for her during her late childhood and adolescence was sincere. It endured over time, even though it shouldn't have, especially since she didn't truly love him. Nor did she genuinely desire him; instead, she saw it as a convenience later in life. Thirty-something years later, she comprehended this, yet she always recognized its utility. Why not? That was how she had been raised, and it was how she lived her entire life among lovers who provided her with financial benefits, including the one with whom she decided to spend her later years, even though she still had many years ahead. When she reached out to him, he responded. No longer with the same ardor as before. Sometimes a day or two later. Even after noticing her message instantly. He did this as a tribute to that child-adolescent-adult she had loved. Not so much for her, but for himself.

It's frustrating to see how, when faced with the futility of an idiot's usefulness, violence is the only resort. And this useful idiot exploits the violence to turn on those who question, reflect, and challenge. Yet they're incredibly mean and aggressive, unleashing their anger and hatred, which only boosts their courage. So, the question remains: is there a right to counter-violence in self-defense? How can we do that? It's clear we can't wait for reason to prevail, but we also can't fuel more aggression and anger. Fulitiy. He had understood that a long time ago. But recently, he wasn't willing to do that, because somehow, between boredom and new or wonderful horizons, he discovered that sometimes the best act of solidarity is selfishness itself. That contradiction that can only be explained by saying that I'm leaving the world better than it was so I don't step in the shit when I return on that path. Not thinking about others, but about myself, as if I were a stranger.

However, with necessary calm, just as one can justify a right to violence, there exists a right (and duty) to respond with reason and a need to challenge injustice and ignorance. It is crucial not to remain silent. Life and humanity demand reason to speak. Correct. Reprimand when necessary. Make wrongs evident and do not justify them. The human rebellion for life is a matter that should at least be discussed in conversations, while others only know how to shout and oppress, and while some endure and accept the unacceptable. In their pettiness and fear, they defend what cannot be defended in any way. He wanted to kiss her—to feel her lips more than her body. As much as that look. As much as touching her hands, even though the excuse was to see a ring from another time whose magical power is unknown, for the sake of humanity itself. That desire, as always, made him better off moving away from there, because he couldn't simply bear desire without reality, much less throw himself into an unsustainable reality. Well, then, seeing the ships in the old harbor, at these sixteen degrees, he felt good about being in the Free and Hanseatic City of Treva, even if all times were merging toward catastrophe.